Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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