my vag is so smooth its legendary
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
