haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
