so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
