ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
