the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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