haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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