I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
