it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
