Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
