i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
