I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
