Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
