So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
