so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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