I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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