Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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