Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
