If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
