Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
