I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
