Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
