i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
