My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
