I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
