I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
