According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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