So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
