Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize