I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
