I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
