I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
