she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize