FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
