Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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