But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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