help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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