So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
