At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
