His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
