i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
