she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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