Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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