And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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