All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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