so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
