So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
