i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize