I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
