Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
