I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
