singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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