official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Alive.
So much puke
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am naked and annoyed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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