Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
