Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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