Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
