His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
