He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize