did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
too bad you live with your parents still
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize