Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
