No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
