i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
