Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
