jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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