did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
