But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
