summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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