I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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