I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize